Himself jokes

Kid

Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?

He couldn’t stand up for himself.

Mushroom

Why did the mushroom kill himself?

Because he had a mushy life.

My peepee small.

School Shooter

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

Butler

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

Stephen Hawking

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

Kid

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

Bin Laden

After 6 months of lockdown,

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.

Hitler

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

Wheelchair

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Hitler

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

President

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Boyfriend

Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!

Poo

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Kenny

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?