Himself jokes
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?