Himself jokes

Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.

Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?

He couldn’t stand up for himself.

3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."

Why did the mushroom kill himself?

Because he had a mushy life.

My peepee small.

Why did the pencil want to kill himself?

He had no point in life.

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

After 6 months of lockdown,

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.

Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.

He’s got himself.

Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.