Him jokes
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?
The tree left him hanging.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...
Man, I love working at an orphanage.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"