Hes jokes
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?
Neither has he.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...