Herring jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Memes
Def all moms lol
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.