Herring jokes

A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

The son: "I don't know, can I?"

The mom: "May you?"

The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

She a hoe, she shit on herself.

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.

How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?

Kill her afterwards.

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

Yo mama's so fat that when Legolas killed her, Gimli counted her for two.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you got to hand it to her.

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

This is about Gwen.

I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.

Imogen Savage will send you nudes. @imogensav is her Snap.