Herring jokes

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.

I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.

Comment if u liked the picture of Gwen in her "Bra."

Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.

Me: Nice.

Friend: She got some red on her shirt.

Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."

What do you call a redhead in a fridge?

I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?

As soon as the bomb exploded on her.

When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!

"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"

Ya nan does gymnastics with her boyfriends.

I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.

She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)

Stinking poo poo bum.

Joke of the day: Your mum is so fat I saw her at Greg’s! 😭🤣

POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.