Herring jokes

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.

Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.

Me: Nice.

Friend: She got some red on her shirt.

Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."

What do you call a redhead in a fridge?

I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.

When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.

FUCKING MENT

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

So I punched an orphan...

What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???

Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.

Comment if u liked the picture of Gwen in her "Bra."

Ya nan does gymnastics with her boyfriends.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"

How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?

As soon as the bomb exploded on her.