Herring jokes

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.

In her religion, you NEVER pull out.

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.

Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?

A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...

Me: Knock Knock

Her:

What is the definition of clapped?

Ur mum when I am in her bed.

Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!

Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"

#she is sex*

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.