Herring jokes

Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Yo mama so hot that even Sodapop Curtis flirts with her.

Yo mama is so evil that Dallas Winston fell in love with her.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.

How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.

Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."