Herring jokes

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Me: You have pretty eyes.

Her: Thank you.

Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"