A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Y mama so fat,Dora can't explore her
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
yo mumma so fat i took a photo of her last year and its still printing.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex. The poor guy asks the rich guy "what'd you get for your wife today?" The rich guy replies " I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes" The poor guy asks "Why did you get two gifts for her?" Rich guy says "If she doesn't like the diamond ring then she can return it in her mercedes" Rich guy asks the poor guy " what'd you get for your wife" Poor guy says " I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo" Rich guy asks "why did you get two gifts for her?" The poor guy says " If she doesnt like the slippers then she can go fuck herself. "
What is a redneck virgin?
Answer; A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers!
Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
