New Herring Jokes - Page 12 - Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Yo mama so fat that when she went in the ocean, Spain claimed her for new land.

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."

Yo mama so fat that when I buried her she made the earth round

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."