How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Yo mama so fat then when she went on the scale it showed her phone number
Yo mama so fat that her belt size is the equator
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
Yo Mama so fat the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
