Herring jokes
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.
Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."
Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.