Hereness jokes
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
Here comes the plane... the twins. ☠️
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
Here me out this would be a sad movie
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
Knock knock.
Who's there? Discord server.
Discord server who?
This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."