Hereness jokes

Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?

Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

I don't know what to write here, just like...

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

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Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

Son: Why, Dad?

Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz

Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.

Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!

A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

The fetus: "lol same here."

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

Open wide, here comes the airplane!

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.