Her jokes
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.