Her jokes
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Memes
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
Her (DYM 101).
What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?
"Looks like a rerun."
Her (DYM 70).
Madeline Mcannot find her.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."
Her: "No."
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.