Her jokes

Difference

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Girlfriend

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Red

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Lol

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Mama

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

Mama

Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.

Vibrator

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Mama

"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Difference

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

Mama

Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!

Marriage

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Wife

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Yo mama

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.