Her jokes
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."
Her: "No."
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Yo mama's so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.
I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!
Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.