Her jokes

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.

Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.