Her jokes

Height

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Mom

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Wheelchair

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Necrophilia

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Mom

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Toe

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

Halloween

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

Lucy

What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?

"Looks like a rerun."

Catfish

Prince, I promise you that "qwen" girl you're chatting with is a faker! I am the real lover for you, not her. She's a stranger!

Harassment

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Body

Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.

Her: Prove it.

Me: (opens freezer)

Sister

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Girlfriend

A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”

Sister

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.

Casket

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

Dryer

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."