Her jokes

Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

Yo mama so hot that even Sodapop Curtis flirts with her.

I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.

Yo mama is so ugly that even scammers wouldn't go after her money.

How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?

You smell her fingers.