Her jokes

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Yo mama's so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.

Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!

Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

Me: You have pretty eyes.

Her: Thank you.

Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴