Her jokes

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

Yo mama so fat and emo, we call her the rock and roll.

Yo mama so ugly, her mirror broke.

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.

I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

How do you kill Hellen Keller?

Take her on a walk off a cliff.

Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.

Man: Ouch!

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Q: How do you blind a woman?

A: You put a windshield in front of her.

Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.