New Her Jokes - Page 42 - Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.

I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Yo momma so fat when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make-do with health insurance.

a friend sits across me at class so i assked if she wants to hang out somtimes she said yes so i called her over to my house and thats the day i found out she was a guy. the morul of the story dont try to fuck your frindes.

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology

My sister said I was only aloud to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong. The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

Yo mama so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall

Yo mama so OLD... Her first christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

YO MAMA! Yo mama so FAT... i tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes. When she got the puppy, he was nice. But the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually the parents got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food you know.” The parents only answered with “oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy..he won’t need feeding for years.”

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.