Hell jokes
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.