Hell jokes

A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?

My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.

After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

I know, I'm going to hell!

Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.

When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.

With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.