Hell

Hell jokes

Mathematician

    • An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

    Poem

    • My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

    I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

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    • Hell memes

    Camouflage

    • A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.

    First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.

    When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.

    The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.

    "Why did you move?" the German asked.

    The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."

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    • Helicopter

    • I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

    I know, I'm going to hell!

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    • Dark Humor

    • Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

    You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

    My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

    I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

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    • Penis

    • I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

    The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

    My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

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    • Sis

    • Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

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