Helen Keller

Helen Keller jokes

Tennis

What is the definition of "Endless Love"?

Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!

Something

I hate stairs. They are always up to something.

I love stairs. They are always down to party.

Game

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

Mother

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

Dance

How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.

How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.

Bathroom

Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?

Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.

Woman

Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!

Oral

It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.

Weird.

Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.

Dad

How does Helen Keller say "dad?"

I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.

Ex

How did Helen Keller die?

Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.

Man

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

Woman

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.

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