So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
...
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
