Height jokes

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

Dwarf: pulls down the flap for the mirror.

Also dwarf: can’t see.

It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.

I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"

What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?

A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.