What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
God said the first person to kill Hitler go's to heaven. Hitler: Kills himself.
Mary is hanging out and the angel Gabriel descends behind her and she looks behind her and says Jesus Christ and the angel Gabriel said so you already know
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox so when someone knocked on the door, they said "An administrator has banned you from heaven"
Why can't Stephen hawking go to heaven cause he walk up the stairs
Farrah Fawcertt, upon arriving at the pearly gates, god asked her, for having lead such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe. Five hours later, Michel Jackson died.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to heaven. God had not built a ramp yet......or an escalator.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven? Both of them.
Why do orphans want to die Because they might see there parents in heaven
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven you’re adopted Haley say like me more than you
If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isnt going to heaven? Because it's a stairway not a ramp
I guess grandpa took the elevator to heaven. he definitely didn't make it up the stairs
Man, I’m so sorry that Steven Hawking is dead he was such a good person. To bad it’s a stair case to Heaven and not a ramp
A man died and went to heaven, everytime you cheat you get a worse car, the first man cheated 5 times he got a jeep, the second man cheat 3 times he got a BMW, the third man never cheated he got a Lamborghini, the second man saw the third man sad he said "why are you sad" the third man said "I saw my wife with a scooter".
Why did Steven hawking snot go to heaven ?
Because there is no ramp to heaven
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion". The first guy came back with 10 apples and by the second one he started to grunt so he was killed and eaten. The second one came back with cherries and when he went to put the 10th one in he started to laugh so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven and the first guy said" dude you were so close what happened?" The second one said" I would have made it but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!"😝😝🤣🤣
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud
