Have jokes
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
What do gasses and asses have in common? They both have asses in them!
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
I HAVE 8 CATS
What do cells always have on them?
A cell phone!
I have breakfast with my boys.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because they finally have a home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
Why do orphans not have a home? Because they don’t have a family.
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a NAVIGATOR dropping the beat.
Roses are red, I have no money, I want to be dominated by a goth mommy.
Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.
Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.
Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.
Nathan: WE-WE
Alicia: WEE-WEE?
Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes
Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u
Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*
Alicia: *WEIRD*
Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose
Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess
cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou
nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy
cuugh umm
The humor of this generation of kids shouldn't be called 'brain rot'; it should be called 'brain rape.' I believe most people of this generation that aren't 5-year-olds could agree with me, but my mind and thoughts have been violated by the things that kids these days find funny and entertaining. #SKIBIDDI
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.