Have jokes
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
That’s right, I have my own category😎
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.