Have jokes
Did you know Africans don’t have to be black?
Why is Texas the worst state ever?
They only have one star.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!