Have jokes

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.

Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Student: His parents.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!

I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.

You will never have a girlfriend.

They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?

A: He doesn't have the guts for it.

I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?

A: Kittens.

I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...

Your face!

I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.

Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?