Have jokes
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."