Have jokes
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
Why can't orphans have gay sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.