Have jokes
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
Have you heard of the work called "ligma balls?"
Why do orphans like to play Minecraft?
Because they like to have a home.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.
Toilet paper: Ya, right.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?
You have more chin than brain cells!
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."