Happening jokes

What happened when Obama ran for president?

The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"

Stephen Hawking answers.

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?

A corn stalk!

What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?

It sinks it.

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?

9/11.

What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.

What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?

THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.

Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?

France: Want a baguette?

USSR: Help!

God bless the shooting that happened.

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?

"It didn't happen, but it should have."

So dark.

Many jokes about orphans.

God, this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans!

Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?

Palpatine: Slew it!

What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

Josh: Cookies.

Jacob: My parents.

Erika: My Friends!

Brody: Lamborghinis.

Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....