Happening jokes

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?

A corn stalk!

What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?

It sinks it.

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.

What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?

9/11.

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

God bless the shooting that happened.

Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?

France: Want a baguette?

USSR: Help!

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.

What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?

THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.

What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?

"It didn't happen, but it should have."

So dark.

Many jokes about orphans.

God, this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans!

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?

Palpatine: Slew it!

What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

Josh: Cookies.

Jacob: My parents.

Erika: My Friends!

Brody: Lamborghinis.

Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."