Hang

Hang jokes

Dad

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Emo kid

Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.

Man

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

Date

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Emo

What do you call two emos spending time together?

Hanging out.

Priest

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

Goose

U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.

U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.

Light

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

Hotline

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

Slavery

When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?

Name

Hello, are you there?

Yes, who are you?

My name is Watt.

What’s your name?

Watt’s my name.

Yes, what is your name?

My name is John Watt.

John What?

Yes, are you Jones?

No, I’m Knott.

Will you tell me your name?

Will Knott.

Why not?

My name is Knott.

Not what?

Not Watt, Knott!

*hangs up*

Character

Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."

Emo

What do emos and a bird nest have in common?

They both hang from a tree.