Hang jokes

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

Sayori: *dies*

Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"

MC: "😨"

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

I usually hang up Halloween decorations,

but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Teacher: "What's your name?"

Student: "Hang on a second."

10 seconds later:

Teacher: "Is something wrong?"

Student: "Hang on a second!"

20 seconds later:

Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"

Student: "Hang on a second!!!"

Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"

Student: "Hang on a second!"

Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"

Student: "Just listen to me!"

Teacher: "Go on, speak!"

Student: "Hang on a second!"

Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"

Student: "Hang on a second!!!"

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.

Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.

Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.

Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.

Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)

A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.

Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?

Because he forgot his feats!

Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."

How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?

Depends on who's hanging.

I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

Friend: You ok, man?

Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...