Hang jokes

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

What did the balls say to the dick?

Hey dick, how's it hanging?

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.

Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.