Hang jokes

Why did the little kid cry? His dad forgot to pull out.

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.

Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.

Police: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH?

Police: Ends call.

Me: Calls hospital.

Hospital: What is that location?

Me: I don't know where is dis location.

Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.

Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

Hospital: Hangs up.

Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.

Fire: No fire.

Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?

Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Why did the bat fall out of the tree?

It couldn’t hang in there.

What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?

Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

What did the talking rope say to the man?

"Just hang in there."