What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
