Haircut jokes
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
Happens every time
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
Who did a barber win a race?
He knew a short cut.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
Hairline got cut by a broken teacup.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.