Haircut jokes
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.
Six Seven went to a barber shop. He asked the barber if he could have the "six seven" cut.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To trim his verses.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.