HA jokes

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?

Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?

Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

Laugh now.

What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.

Why can’t USA and England play chess?

The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Yo mama's so fat, people think she only has one side!

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.

I think DJT has FTD.

Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:

"The doctor has now sent me the bill."

"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"

Obama has dih.

But the Twin Towers just had a hard landing.

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.