Gym jokes
Total gym.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"