Guys jokes
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?