Guy jokes

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

How did the guy greet his wife?

"Howdy, sister!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!

There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.

He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.

The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

Guys, you know any best rape roleplay? (I'm a guy, btw.)

A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"

Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.

My friend: How?

Justin: Justin!

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.

tbh, I was not even talking to you guys. I was talking to the funny jokes about Ariana, and people were saying she was adopted, so, tbh, fuck off!

Hey guys, I use toilet paper.

You guys are idiots!

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

Why did the black guy cross the street to check King Van?

Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?

Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)

Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.

Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?

Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].