Guy jokes

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

I met a gay guy last night.

Man, was he a pain in the ass.

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

What do you call a guy with a sandwich?

A guy with a sandwich.

Why does Mario eat mushrooms?

Because he's a very fungi!

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"