Guy jokes

I met a gay guy last night.

Man, was he a pain in the ass.

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.

What do you call a guy named Kaiden?

I don't know, lol.

You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange who?

Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!

Why does Mario eat mushrooms?

Because he's a very fungi!

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

What do you call a guy with a sandwich?

A guy with a sandwich.

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.