Guy jokes

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

I met a gay guy last night.

Man, was he a pain in the ass.

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.