Guy jokes

What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?

Poke me, mon.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Why did my boyfriend leave me?

Because he's gay.

But why did he come back to me?

Because I'm actually a guy :-)

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.

One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.

One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:

Police: "What’s you name?"

Shut Up: "Shut Up."

Police: "Where's your manners?!"

Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she’ll let it goo!

I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.