Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
Guy Jokes
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
