If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
