Government jokes
"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."
"Why?"
"He was very open-minded!"
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
Joe Biden doesn’t follow his own f**king mask mandate.
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Joe Biden
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.