"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
donald trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Trump.
Get it because Trump is a joke hahaha, I am sooo bad!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What does NASA mean? No Apes Submit Astronauts.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
