Good jokes
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....
I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.
Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!
It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
My dad was such a good man. RIP, Osama bin Laden.
When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.
She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...