Good jokes
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
The breeze mmmm smells good
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
Hope everyone is having a good day! ❤️
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.
Good morning.
Aren't I beary good?
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.