Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive yyyy is the difference between a good
Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong! Then comment good comments if not then just comment! Lets reach 67,000 comments good!
Your mom is a slow comedian, it took her 9 months to make a good joke
I love you my new phone 📲
have you ate at the restaurant at the Moon its got good food but no atmosphere.
2 cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: good thing i'm a helicopter.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
( just a joke) my grandfather was involved in 9/11 😞. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was
Little johnnys teacher asks him "Johnny ,do you pray before you eat?" little johnny says "I dont need to, my mum makes good food.
Random person: "Just turn the page and start over." Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
What would good be if it was a place?It would be a desert because it had to many droughts!
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
