Friend: Slavery isnt good Other friend: Yea its terrible Me: shut up and get me a juice
Good Morning! Have a Great Day! #Ijustwokeup
So my kid every time I walk in the door he shuts his laptop so i check his history It was good but my wife checked mine and she didn't say the same the words I head was get out.
Hello i am the WJE(WORST JOKES EVER) Bot Like this post if you think its good dislike if you think its bad!
Who ever is reading this I hope you have good day because I feel bad your so short
Have a good summer
I did a walk today and had fun today I did not have to go get my kids and get my new house 🏠 was good today I had fun I did a walk today I had fun today but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car 🚘 was your night time is what time did
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
😜😝😋😎
Man, I’m so sorry that Steven Hawking is dead he was such a good person. To bad it’s a stair case to Heaven and not a ramp
Some moving men had just begun their days work. The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch. The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
me,'' i came home laughing'' parents,'' what's wrong'' me,''the teacher asked everyone a question luckily i was the only one who had known'' parents,'' good for you johnny what was the fantastic question your teacher had gave everyone and only knew'' me,'' well its kinda complicated but here it goes'' parents,''what is it'' me,''WHO FARTED.''
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"
Did you hear about the restaurant there putting on the moon Good food but no atmosphere
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player. "What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just something to zone out the other kids." Billy responded. The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack, and pulled out an mp4 player this time. "Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired. "Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school." Billy responded. The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school, and pulled out an mp5 rifle. "Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped. "Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Why are Chinese so good at jay-walking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
2019 Senior Prank- Hey fellas lets black out the school haha were so sneaky oh yes
2020 Senior Prank- Hey guys I’m a tech whiz let’s spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha it’s be so funny and good even the whole world might fall for it
Everyone in December 2020- looks at tech whiz “...you son of a (censored)!!!” Tech whiz- “you guys are the (censored)s I mean you fell for it for a whole year
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
