Good Jokes

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

A screenshot of a message exchange. The first message says "Good morning beautiful". The second message includes an image of an unkempt cat with text below saying "I woke up like this". The third message says "Sorry, I have a girlfriend."

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.

I did a good job of being home from school.

Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

Good Morning! Have a Great Day!

#Ijustwokeup

What do you call a reverse exorcism?

It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"