Good jokes

You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?

The second one never lands as good as the first one.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

Why are Nazis so good at soccer?

Because they're so good at shooting.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

Family are together playing charades.

Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!

Angel is a good word.

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start :)

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

What is a good night? Sleep tight, I have four.

I did a good job of being home from school.

Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.