I cried when dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
My grief counsellor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.😂😂😂╰(*°▽°*)╯
What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?
He drops the Mike.
Me: I know a good 9/11 joke but it would probably go over your head. The Twin Towers: No It Won’t.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pisa? The Leaning Tower of Pisa has good reflexes
what's the good thing about child pervart they drive slow in a school zone
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
