Good Will jokes

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

You signed up for football, but you're no good.

I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.

Twin Towers: "No, it won't."

I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.

Onions was a good dog.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

How do you call a very good lemonade?

Fantatastic!

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?

A very good person.

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.

I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.

Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.