God's Will jokes

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

Why did God give women legs?

1. To look at.

2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.

POV: Orphans rule the world.

God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.

The orphan: Waaaaaa!

God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?

How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.

"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno

When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"

Have you seen my uncle?

Jesus: I have.

God: Me too.

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?

One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.

Do you love God?

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"